Worth, Purpose, and Cake.
Hey, there, peculiar treasures! This blog post gets a little deep, but it is so worth the read. Also: if you get to the end, I've included a little Christmas present for you guys! 😁 Merry Christmas! 🎄
Okay, let's just jump right into it: self-worth. Two words (or one word hyphenated) however you choose to look at it, we all know what I'm talking about here. Let me say it again louder for the people in the back: self-worth. We all struggle with it, some of us more than others--personally, I happen to be one of the "more than others." All my life I've always had a problem with self-worth (and just feeling worthy of anything in general) but especially when it comes to my faith. Because I'm a sinner, I do not deserve grace {which, you know, is kinda the point of grace, it's unmerited favor}. But for some reason I've always struggled with not feeling worth anything, and definitely not worth the sacrifice that Christ made for all of us. All of my insecurities have been coming to a head recently. The Devil has been really messing with me, feeding me lies and stuff. But last night it really peaked.
It was Christmas Night, and I was driving home from my friend's house, all alone in the car. The roads were pretty much empty, and I was basically alone with my thoughts--which is a very scary place to be sometimes if we're honest--especially when the Devil gets to ya. And I'm not gonna lie, I was having some pretty dangerous thoughts. I do not want to use the term suicidal to describe myself, but it was definitely scary. Not that I want to kill myself; I have no desire to kill myself, that's why I hesitate to use the word "suicidal." But I was thinking about the speed limit (because I was driving) and how the road was basically empty because it was Christmas, and I was like, "Hey, I could go as fast as I wanted." (My logic was I wouldn't be endangering anyone else.) But then I remembered a road sign I saw one time--it said, "Drive with caution; someone loves you." And like I said, I was going down a dangerous road with my thoughts, and I was like, "Well, if I died, they would get over it." Because I just felt like I wasn't worth it. That's when I suddenly snapped out of it, and I realized that these are not my thoughts: this is the Devil. The Devil was feeding me these lies and causing me to think these thoughts that I am not worthy, that I am worthless, that I don't matter to anyone. All of a sudden I realized that those are all lies.
So here's what I did. I turned off the radio, and I said, "Devil, get out of here. You are not welcome here." And basically I just told him to get out of my head, get out of my life--that I was sick and tired and done with his lies, and I wasn't gonna take it anymore. I was done. I am done. I know he'll be back, but I'm ready for him now. You know why? When I was in that car, in the silence, I was crying out to God on the verge of tears, "Lord, please show me how to get past this, to overcome these lies that I am worthless." And so I turned on the radio to the local Christian radio station, and because it was Christmas Day, there was a Christmas song playing. It wasn't "Joy to the World" but the words were along the same lines. And honestly I was like "well, this isn't helping me" because I guess I was looking for something a little more direct. But that's when I realized what God was trying to tell me.
Jesus is the answer. Jesus is the reason that I am not worthless. It is because of Him that I have worth. He gave Himself for me, yes. I do not deserve it, yes. But He recognized that I did not have a chance without Him. That is why He extended His grace to me, to all of us, and died on the cross. He sacrificed His life for us so that we can have a chance to do right, to live right, to stand up for Him, to follow him, to choose life. And my purpose? (That's another big word that I struggle with: purpose. I'm not going to get into it too much here, but just a brief explanation: in general I am a very extroverted person. And when I'm not around people or being needed by people, I start to feel down on myself and depressed.)--But then it came to me tonight that Jesus died so that I can choose to make Him my purpose in life. My purpose in life is to serve Him, to bring Him glory.
My youth pastor, whenever he signs off his emails or his texts, he always says "for His fame." And when I first saw it, I was like "oh, that's unusual, I've never heard that." But it's true. We as Christians are put on this earth to bring God glory. But it has to be our choice. Life is all about choices, and choosing to follow Him, serve Him, and bring Him glory is the most important choice you will ever make in your entire life. I am so glad I made that choice. Because of that, I am never alone. I understand my purpose, my worth, and my place in this world.
I wrote this last night really late (or rather, really early this morning), so I apologize if it's a bit scattered. But I hope it makes sense to someone, and brings comfort and clarity to those who understand it. 💘
Now, for those of you who made it all the way to the end, a little Christmas present . . . 😇 Most families have family recipes that have been passed down through generations. I've included in this blog post one of my family's recipes--Refrigerator Cake. 🤤😍 It's my all-time favorite type of cake--it's too good to keep hidden! The world must know! 😂
- 2 cups whipping cream (Note: Not whipped cream, but whipping cream. Yes, there is a difference.)
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- 1 pkg. Famous Chocolate Wafers (Note: These wafers are becoming harder and harder to find, at least where I live, but it is so worth hunting them down!)
Instructions:
Beat cream with mixer on "high" until stiff peaks form. Gently stir in vanilla. Spread 1-1/2 tsp. whipped cream onto each wafer; stack, then stand on edge on platter. Frost with remaining whipped cream. (Tip: Have you ever seen ratatouille? It's a bit like that, but sweeter, obviously. 😂) Refrigerate 4 hours minimum! I'd suggest leaving it in the refrigerator overnight. Cut into diagonal slices to serve.
Yummm! Hope you guys enjoyed both the blog post and the recipe. 😜
Much love and Merry Christmas!
H xoxo 💖
Okay, let's just jump right into it: self-worth. Two words (or one word hyphenated) however you choose to look at it, we all know what I'm talking about here. Let me say it again louder for the people in the back: self-worth. We all struggle with it, some of us more than others--personally, I happen to be one of the "more than others." All my life I've always had a problem with self-worth (and just feeling worthy of anything in general) but especially when it comes to my faith. Because I'm a sinner, I do not deserve grace {which, you know, is kinda the point of grace, it's unmerited favor}. But for some reason I've always struggled with not feeling worth anything, and definitely not worth the sacrifice that Christ made for all of us. All of my insecurities have been coming to a head recently. The Devil has been really messing with me, feeding me lies and stuff. But last night it really peaked.
It was Christmas Night, and I was driving home from my friend's house, all alone in the car. The roads were pretty much empty, and I was basically alone with my thoughts--which is a very scary place to be sometimes if we're honest--especially when the Devil gets to ya. And I'm not gonna lie, I was having some pretty dangerous thoughts. I do not want to use the term suicidal to describe myself, but it was definitely scary. Not that I want to kill myself; I have no desire to kill myself, that's why I hesitate to use the word "suicidal." But I was thinking about the speed limit (because I was driving) and how the road was basically empty because it was Christmas, and I was like, "Hey, I could go as fast as I wanted." (My logic was I wouldn't be endangering anyone else.) But then I remembered a road sign I saw one time--it said, "Drive with caution; someone loves you." And like I said, I was going down a dangerous road with my thoughts, and I was like, "Well, if I died, they would get over it." Because I just felt like I wasn't worth it. That's when I suddenly snapped out of it, and I realized that these are not my thoughts: this is the Devil. The Devil was feeding me these lies and causing me to think these thoughts that I am not worthy, that I am worthless, that I don't matter to anyone. All of a sudden I realized that those are all lies.
So here's what I did. I turned off the radio, and I said, "Devil, get out of here. You are not welcome here." And basically I just told him to get out of my head, get out of my life--that I was sick and tired and done with his lies, and I wasn't gonna take it anymore. I was done. I am done. I know he'll be back, but I'm ready for him now. You know why? When I was in that car, in the silence, I was crying out to God on the verge of tears, "Lord, please show me how to get past this, to overcome these lies that I am worthless." And so I turned on the radio to the local Christian radio station, and because it was Christmas Day, there was a Christmas song playing. It wasn't "Joy to the World" but the words were along the same lines. And honestly I was like "well, this isn't helping me" because I guess I was looking for something a little more direct. But that's when I realized what God was trying to tell me.
Jesus is the answer. Jesus is the reason that I am not worthless. It is because of Him that I have worth. He gave Himself for me, yes. I do not deserve it, yes. But He recognized that I did not have a chance without Him. That is why He extended His grace to me, to all of us, and died on the cross. He sacrificed His life for us so that we can have a chance to do right, to live right, to stand up for Him, to follow him, to choose life. And my purpose? (That's another big word that I struggle with: purpose. I'm not going to get into it too much here, but just a brief explanation: in general I am a very extroverted person. And when I'm not around people or being needed by people, I start to feel down on myself and depressed.)--But then it came to me tonight that Jesus died so that I can choose to make Him my purpose in life. My purpose in life is to serve Him, to bring Him glory.
My youth pastor, whenever he signs off his emails or his texts, he always says "for His fame." And when I first saw it, I was like "oh, that's unusual, I've never heard that." But it's true. We as Christians are put on this earth to bring God glory. But it has to be our choice. Life is all about choices, and choosing to follow Him, serve Him, and bring Him glory is the most important choice you will ever make in your entire life. I am so glad I made that choice. Because of that, I am never alone. I understand my purpose, my worth, and my place in this world.
I wrote this last night really late (or rather, really early this morning), so I apologize if it's a bit scattered. But I hope it makes sense to someone, and brings comfort and clarity to those who understand it. 💘
Now, for those of you who made it all the way to the end, a little Christmas present . . . 😇 Most families have family recipes that have been passed down through generations. I've included in this blog post one of my family's recipes--Refrigerator Cake. 🤤😍 It's my all-time favorite type of cake--it's too good to keep hidden! The world must know! 😂
Refrigerator Cake
Ingredients:- 2 cups whipping cream (Note: Not whipped cream, but whipping cream. Yes, there is a difference.)
- 1 tsp. vanilla
- 1 pkg. Famous Chocolate Wafers (Note: These wafers are becoming harder and harder to find, at least where I live, but it is so worth hunting them down!)
Instructions:
Beat cream with mixer on "high" until stiff peaks form. Gently stir in vanilla. Spread 1-1/2 tsp. whipped cream onto each wafer; stack, then stand on edge on platter. Frost with remaining whipped cream. (Tip: Have you ever seen ratatouille? It's a bit like that, but sweeter, obviously. 😂) Refrigerate 4 hours minimum! I'd suggest leaving it in the refrigerator overnight. Cut into diagonal slices to serve.
Yummm! Hope you guys enjoyed both the blog post and the recipe. 😜
Much love and Merry Christmas!
H xoxo 💖
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