The Truth About Being Low-Key - H
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| pc: Pinterest |
low-key
adjective
1. not elaborate, showy, or intensive; modest or restrained.
Examples: (found on Pinterest)
"I prefer to stay lowkey, leave people clueless, and let them assume what they want."
"Staying lowkey will literally solve half your problems."
"Be selfish with you, be unavailable, be productive, be money-motivated, be goal-getting, be independent, be lowkey."
A few months ago I was at a pretty bad place in my life. I had been hurt by the people closest to me, and I felt like I couldn't trust anyone. So you can imagine why the idea of being lowkey appealed to me. I decided I would give it a shot. So I went off the grid.
I never posted on social media. I stopped texting my friends. I even kept my family, who live in the same house as me, at a distance. I barely spoke to anyone, turning all my attention instead to myself and to my relationship with God.
Disclaimer: I'm not saying it's bad to focus on God. But I did it for the wrong reasons; I intended to block out the world, when God wants us to reach the world with His love. He didn't die on the cross just so I could sit in my room and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist.
I feel like after my life exploded at the end of last year, I was in shock. I didn't know how to process all of the hurt and betrayal I was feeling, but I did know I wanted to distance myself from the people who had hurt me. Being low-key seemed like the answer. But I took it to the extreme.
I don't know the people who made the quotes listed above. I don't know what motivated them to react in such a way to their circumstances; maybe they were hurt like I was, or worse. Whatever the circumstances, I do know this: being low-key comes with the temptation to hold on to bitterness.
For me, I fell into the trap too easily. I kept to myself, my anger and hurt simmering just beneath the surface. All I could focus on was making myself better so the people who hurt me would be jealous of the way I flourished without them. I wanted them to envy my success.
I wish I could go back in time and smack some sense into myself. I was so prideful. My only motivation to do anything was to make others feel bad about themselves. That's not being low-key. That's being bitter. And let me tell you something, honey . . .
Hanging on to resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Read that one more time. As soon as I realized who I was becoming, what my bitterness had made me, I knew I had to stop. I had to let go of my resentment . . . and I had to forgive the ones who had hurt me.
One of the most difficult things I've ever done was to forgive the people who had hurt me. To let go of that anger that had been simmering in my heart, and give the issue to God. I'm not claiming to be an expert at forgiveness. Anger is one of my biggest failings, so you'd think with all my practice at forgiving that by now I'd be good at it. But nope. Every time is a new hurdle. But with God's help, I'm making progress.
If you're in a similar place right now, I'd like to offer some encouragement to you. Forgiveness is a process. Sometimes it's easy, and sometimes it takes a while. But don't let your heart turn hard. Don't lock yourself away from the world. Yes, the world is a terrible, cruel place sometimes, full of sin and all its fruit. But thanks to Jesus, there is also love, and peace, and happiness, and contentment.
When you lock yourself away, you're also blocking out the chance to love and be loved. There is still more goodness left to experience. Don't cut yourself off prematurely. Trust me . . . you'll only end up suffering more if you do.
With all that said, being low-key if done the right way can be a good thing. Part of the reason I experienced so much pain and hurt at the end of last year was because I had cultivated relationships without any boundaries. If being low-key helps you set healthy boundaries in your life, it can be a great thing.
Sharing 100% of your life can be dangerous. It can lead to co-dependency, as well as an unhealthy need for validation from other people. (Validation is okay in some areas; don't go disobeying your parents or anything. 😂) Social media is one example where the temptation grows to let other people validate your self-worth, your attractiveness, your actions, etc, fill in the blank. Part of growing up is developing the ability to defend your position to others, to the point when you don't need them to validate you anymore. But that's a topic for another time. 😉
Until then,
Much love and God bless!
H ✨💘
P.S. To counteract the quotes at the beginning of the post, here are some great Christian quotes from the Instagram accounts @hertrueworth and @morganharpernichols!
"Let's respond with grace, even when others don't."
(Colossians 4:6 "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.") @hertrueworth
"What makes her beautiful is not just her appearance or what she has achieved, but in her love, courage, and ability to walk in the Light of Lord everywhere she goes."
@hertrueworth
"You are not missing out on life. Your life just looks a little different right now, but you are still on the journey."
MHN
"You are worthy of a beautiful, fulfilling life just as much as anyone else."
MHN
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