10 Things God Wants His Girls to Know - H

Today is the day after Valentine's Day. Also known as Discount Chocolate Day. The day after the best day of the year for some . . . and for others, the worst.

But regardless of your relationship status, I believe God has something to say to you today. So sit back, eat some half-price chocolate, and open your heart to what I'm about to tell you . . .

Ten Things God Wants His Girls to Know

1. Center your life around Christ.

I could say a lot about this, mostly because I've lived my life both ways--with Christ and without Christ.

Without Christ, my life was a struggle. I was overcome by loneliness and defeat, and when I tried to find completion in a boy, things only got worse. Life without God doesn't make sense, has no meaning, and, quite frankly, is downright depressing.

Now I live my life with Christ, and honestly it's a complete 180. I now have a constant companion, and I can live in victory with my head held high. Life makes sense and is filled with purpose. (And newsflash: PURPOSE ISN'T FOUND IN A BOY!)

That's not to say that every day will be full of sunshine and rainbows, because that's unrealistic. I still experience sadness, but now I have a Comforter. I still have bad days, struggles, and worries, just like we all do. But with Christ, there is hope, peace, and love. Those aren't just hippie slogans; they're the result of accepting Christ in your heart and keeping Him at the center of your life.

2. Be confident in Christ (and thus in yourself).

All girls struggle with confidence. It's a fact, not an opinion. Some girls struggle more than others in this area, but at the end of the day, we all crave confidence and seek it.

Here's the bottom line: if you're confident in who God says you are, then you're confident in yourself. I've learned this hard lesson many times, starting around the time when I first hit puberty. You know that age when you become self-aware, and suddenly it's all about what people think of you, and how you look, and whether or not people are talking about you behind your back? It's a struggle, no?

I'm not saying it's ever going to stop. But because I now know who I am in Christ, and how Christ sees me, and thus how I should see myself--if I keep constantly reminding myself of that, I will be confident in myself.

That's all I'm going to say about that right now, but don't worry, I come back around a little later. 😉

3. Encourage him in his relationship with God.

Admittedly, this point goes out to all my sisters in relationships. I'm currently in a relationship as well, so don't think I don't know what I'm talking about. 😂

A godly woman in a Christ-centered relationship with a godly man encourages her man in his relationship with God. BUT she doesn't lead him in it or to it. Let me elucidate.

Don't lead him to God. I know this sounds bad at first, but hear me out. We've all experienced that moment when you meet a guy--he's cute, funny, charming, perfect! Except . . . he's not a Christian. And you know what the Bible says about being unequally yoked, so you take it upon yourself to lead this man to Christ . . . while dating him.

Ladies.

Just.

No.

There's an analogy, where someone stands on a chair and someone stands on the ground. First, the person on the chair (the Christian) tries to pull the other person up. It doesn't work. Next, the person on the ground (the non-Christian) tries to pull the Christian down. It is infinitely easier. Sisters, this is exactly what happens with missionary dating. By entering into a relationship with a non-Christian, you are allowing him to influence you, and therefore endangering your relationship with God.

"But what if he's The One?"

Then God will take care of him until he is ready to be with you. Wait on God--His timing is always perfect.

Okay, so that's why you shouldn't lead him to God, but you also shouldn't lead him in his relationship with God. I talked about this in my last blog post, Do We Need Husbands? I won't repeat everything I said there, but just know this: God intended for the man to be the leader in any romantic relationship. If you try to take over that position, you're asking for trouble. (Trust me on this . . . 💔 )

So what should you do? Easy: ask him how church service was, what he learned. Pray for him. Share your favorite Bible verses with him. Encourage him in his walk with God, but understand that there comes a point when you shouldn't be a third wheel. You get me? Don't be afraid to keep God in your relationship.

4. Be I N D E P E N D E N T.

Don't plan your life around him. Not only because it's desperate and needy, but also because it's not healthy for you or your relationship.

I have a confession: I am eighteen years old, and until my current relationship (which is only four months old) I have never had a boyfriend. When I was younger, that fact really bothered me--I wondered what was wrong with me. If you're in the same boat, listen: there's nothing wrong with you. You're beautiful, wonderful, unique. You're single right now because God is still preparing you and your future husband for each other. (I could say many things on this topic, but that's not the point. 😂)

However, there came a point in my life when I began to gain confidence in my singleness. Have you ever heard the phrase "strong, independent woman who don't need no man"? Well, yeah, that was me. That is me. It was just me and God, forever, and I was completely 100% okay with that.

Then came the boys. Not just one, but two. I don't want to say too much in this post, but suffice it to say that my world was turned completely upside-down. Suddenly I had lost my identity as a single woman of God, and I had to figure out my new identity as a woman of God in a relationship. (Honestly, I'm still figuring it out.)

No matter your relationship status, never let yourself become dependent. At first you might think I'm a little cynical, and I will admit that I do have trust issues, but just think about it: God is the only person who will never let you down. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Don't set Him aside to chase some guy that you think will give you validation. Find your validation in Christ.

5. Spend time with God.

Relationships aren't just a one-sided thing. As Sarah likes to say, it takes two to tango. If you want to grow closer to God, you need to make an effort, sweetheart.

As I was saying earlier, I know both sides of the coin. I know what it's like to be close to God . . . and I know what it's like to fall away from God. I know sometimes it's hard to remember to pray regularly, or to read your Bible every day, but trust me--the effort is so worth it. And it makes God so happy to see you pursuing a relationship with Him.

The big thing to remember is to never let go of God. If you have to let go of something, let go of everything else; but hold on to God at all costs. You might think I'm exaggerating, but literally, that is the bottom line. God is the bottom line. Hold on to Him with every aspect of your life. School, family, friends, hobbies--He shouldn't be absent anywhere.

Seek Him first. Good times and bad times. Single or taken.

6. You are led by faith--NOT feelings.
Have you ever heard the saying "listen to your heart"? Well, I'm here to tell you not to listen to your heart. Jeremiah 17:9 says . . .

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

I know many girls who follow their hearts, but sisters, you cannot trust it. Your heart will lead you wrong.

"Well, then, should I listen to my head instead?'

Nope! 😂 If we're going with alliteration here, then the heart is deceitful and the head is easily deceived. Remember Eve in the Garden of Eden? The Serpent lied to her, and she was deceived. So, don't listen to your heart or your head.

"Then who should I listen to?!"

God! Duhh. 😂 For real though, as soon as you became a Christian, the Holy Spirit came to live inside of you. Have you ever heard of Jiminy Cricket? Or the analogy of a little angel sitting on your shoulder? That comes back to the Holy Spirit, or conscience. Conscience is what makes you feel guilty when you know you're doing something wrong. It's the guidance of the Holy Spirit, tapping you on the shoulder and saying, "Ummm, WWJD? Ring any bells?"

God hasn't abandoned you, sister. He wants to help you fight back against all the temptations that this world has to offer. And He's only a prayer away.

7. KNOW. YOUR. WORTH.
Ohhhh, boy I could go on about this one. God has been giving me multiple lessons in self-worth over the past few months.

First of all, I've learned that I can't seek my worth in the world. Sure, there are inspirational speakers, and uplifting songs, and motivating Pinterest quotes (I have a whole board saved . . . not gonna lie 😅). BUT for as many confidence boosters as the world has to offer, there are just as many people who are going to tear you down. You can't rely on the world (OR A BOY) to make you feel worthy.

Secondly, I've learned that I can't seek my worth from within myself. That might make you pause, but hear me out: have you ever looked in the mirror and thought "I'm not pretty" or "enough" or "worth it" or any other adjective?

LIES.

ALL OF IT.

Just because it came from your own head doesn't mean it's truth. Remember, Satan is the Father of Lies, and he will stop at nothing to make you feel worthless.

You are beautiful.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14)

You are enough.

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. (1 Peter 2:9)

You are worth it.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16, emphasis added)

You're worth more than rubies, darling. Even if you were the only sinner on Earth, Jesus still would have endured the pain, the humiliation, the torture, and death just for you. And if that's how God feels about you, you must be pretty flippin' amazing. 😉

8. Know your faith.

Don't rely on a 20-minute sermon once a week to fill you up spiritually--God wrote you a love story, and sister, He wants you to dig in. Search the Scriptures. Learn His Word. Know what you believe and who He has called you to be. The Bible holds the answers to all the questions you've been asking, and there's always something new to learn, no matter how long you've been studying.

9. You're more than looks, sweetheart.
Let's talk about beauty. I need to hear this as much as I'm sure you do, so let's just go for it.

You are more than your looks.

Don't get me wrong--I love fashion and makeup and lookin' #snatched. But just listen to me. Hear me out.

The next time you're having a panic attack because you can't find your concealer, take a look in that mirror and ask yourself: "Who are you trying to please?"

Are you trying to please God?

Lord knows I could write a whole separate blog post just about this topic, and I probably will someday, but for the time being . . .

If it don't please God, it is not worth your time.

Now, before you tune me out, just listen: I'm not saying you should go bare-faced everyday and wear a trash bag and not take care of yourself. But don't get so focused on the outside that you neglect the inside. 

This comes back to what I was talking about earlier, about keeping God at the center of your life. Remember in number 5 when I said God should be in every aspect of your life? That includes your appearance.

This might sound a little harsh to some people, but I swear I mean it in the best way possible: (1) Don't wear makeup to please other people (your family, your friends, a guy . . . who know who I'm talking about. You're thinking about them right now.) (2) Don't wear makeup to hide your real face. You are God's creation--His masterpiece! If you think about it, by trying to cover up who He made you to be, you're basically telling Him His work of art sucks. Have you ever put your blood, sweat, and tears into something, and then someone totally burst your bubble? I imagine that's how God feels when you tear yourself down, or try to hide, or change yourself.

It's not about the makeup, or the clothes, or working out. It about your motive behind it.

10. It's okay to not be okay.
Doesn't that sound like something from Oprah? 😂 I enjoy a bit of the dramatic, but that one is borderline cliche.

And yet . . . it's true. It's okay to not be okay! We all have sadness, worries, struggles, and bad days. And that's okay. You don't have to suffer in silence. The wrong thing to do is to ignore it. Acknowledge it, be aware of it, let it happen--

But don't let it make a home in you. Because that's not who God created you to be.

I'm not saying you have to be happy all the time, because that's unrealistic too. Life is full of ups and downs. And it's unrealistic to expect that it's always going to be sunshine, or it's always going to be rain clouds.

We hold the general standard that life should be good. And when it's not good, we do everything we can to get back to it being good. But life is not always going to be good! Who made up that standard? I just wanna talk. 😂 No! Life is not always good; life is not always bad. Life is all about balance.

God created you for more. He has not given you this spirit of fear, sadness, or general bad-tempered-ness. He gave you a spirit of power, love, and of a sound mind.

You're His child. He created you, not to be happy all the time, but to be joyful in Him.

Yeah. I went there. 😂

I hope something I said made sense to you. I've been praying about this post so much. 😭 I love you guys so much, and God loves you more than you can even imagine. During this time of year when so much love is in the air, don't forget the best, most perfect love of all time--God's love.

Until we talk again,
H xoxo 💖